The Runaways movie

Of this past week’s new releases I was the most excited for The Runaways. I know what you are thinking, “that Twilight girl is in it so it must suck.” Get over yourself. While I don’t understand the craze behind Stephanie Meyer’s empire, I’m not going to fault the actors for it. In any case, the cast of The Runaways is filled with brilliant actors. Dakota Fanning is no hack actor. After seeing Kristen Stewart’s dead on performance as Joan Jett, I’m convinced she’s no hack either. I can’t wait for “Welcome to the Riley’s.” Enough of this justification, on to my review.

The Runaways were the first all girl rock group. They broke down the gender walls in the rock n roll scene and proved that girls could rock as hard (if not harder) than the boys. Based off of the book “Neon Angel” by Cherie Currie, the movie focuses on Cherie’s rise to fame and eventual downfall. The movie does nothing to glorify to Sunset Strip music scene with its shady characters, drugs and sex. The truly shocking thing is that Cherie was only 15 when she started in The Runaways, and was exposed to the seedy side of the music business. The producer who put the group together, Kim Fowley, is certifiably insane. Michael Shannon (Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead) nailed this performance. Just look for Kim Fowley interviews on youtube and see for yourself. He may have known what he was talking about, and he knew what he had when Joan Jett said she wanted to start an all girl rock group, but that does not make him any less insane. The line between genius and insanity is a very thin one.

The movie focuses more on Cherie and Joan, but the other members of the band are just as important. While most did not stay in the spotlight after the group broke up in April of 1979, there is one that fans of 80s music will remember – Lita Ford. Lita, played by Scout Taylor Compton (Zombie’s Halloween) is there in the background screaming for some spotlight.

What I loved about this movie was the director’s vision. Floria Sigismondi, best known for her work on music videos for Bowie, Manson, and Crystal Method, adds some interesting style to the movie. The scenes in the clubs and all the scenes involving drugs felt like music videos to me. The drug scenes were fast cut and leave the viewer feeling edgy and confused.

I could go on and on about this movie. The 70s style, the 70s music, the great soundtrack… but I won’t. This is definitely worth a watch and for any fan of music I’d say buy it. You want to know more about The Runaways go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Runaways




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Last Quote: Sixteen Candles

Today’s Quote: “Pig stink! They'll eat you alive out there! Rock 'n' roll is tough music played in tough venues! Men don't like to seem women anywhere but in their kitchens or on their knees - let alone on stage with guitars. Now, buckle up and get ready for bootcamp, babies - you're gonna be trained like the Viet fucking Cong.”

Blasphemy

Let the subject line serve as a small disclaimer. What I am about to write about will be considered blasphemy by most people, even me. Why write it then? Easy, because it needs to be presented. We live in a time where nothing is sacred and there is no end to atrocities committed. I’m speaking of Hollywood and the plague of remakes. I do believe that movies should not be remade because I know there are creative people out there with original ideas. We should not have to dust off an older title, recast it with new actors, and sell it to the viewing public. If the younger generation wants to see that movie let them watch the DVD.

That said, it occurred to me the other day that it is only a matter of time until Hollywood gets around to remaking movies that I love and still watch to this day. “Escape from New York” is in the works, but we already knew that John Carpenter's work was not safe from this sickness. Who is? No one. Not even John Hughes. This all came from a brief conversation at work that put my brain to work. If they were to remake the timeless John Hughes films that I love. Whom would they cast? It started out as a joke with me picking a “nightmare cast” but then I became intrigued with the idea and tried to seriously pick a cast I felt would make the movie interesting. Before I get to the list, keep in mind that these are young actors, with major successes under their belt. Just because you dislike, say “Twilight”, does not mean the actors have no talent. Film Snobs piss all over movies based on who is in them (I am guilty of this too). Now, are the following casts perfect? No, but they can’t be because they aren’t the original cast. So, here it goes. Get the Kleenex ready, keep the death threats to a minimum, and prepare to have your world shattered.

Let’s start with my favorite –

“The Breakfast Club”
John Bender (Judd Nelson) – Rob Pattinson. Say what you will but he can act, and with the draw this guy has Hollywood would not hesitate to put him in the role of the bad boy.
Andrew Clark (Emilio Estevez) – Zac Efron.
Brian Johnson (Anthony Michael Hall) – Chris Colfer. Just watch Glee (I haven’t) This kid could pull it off.
Allison (All Sheedy) – Miley Cyrus. Ok, I just want to see her play a messed up emo chick.
Claire (Molly Ringwald) – Felicia Day. I struggled to find a fair skinned, red haired actress for this role. I looked through my twitter feed and saw a post from Felicia and it dawned on me. She would be perfect. So, from now on, any Molly Ringwald character for these remakes, I will choose Felicia Day.


Principal Vernon – J.K. Simmons. I just enjoy every performance of his.
Carl the janitor – Justin Long. After seeing his strange characters in Zack and Miri, Old Dogs, and that Sasquatch Dumpling gang movie, I think he could bring a little twisted to this character and make him creepy.

Another great (or not-so-great) thing about this cast is - look at all of them - they can sing! That means the soundtrack could have a cast version of “(Don’t You) Forget About Me.”

“Weird Science”
Gary – Chris Colfer.
Wyatt – Christpher Mintz – Plassse
Chet – Neil Patrick Harris
Hilly – Ashley Green
Deb – Taylor Swift
Max – Adam Brody
Ian – Thomas Decker
Lisa – Megan Fox. I saved her for last so maybe I could build up to the groans and gags. Think about it though, aside from porn stars, who would two geeks choose as the model for their perfect woman? And for the mutant gang of bikers that come in later, Hollywood should use some horror actors (like Michael Berryman in the original) such as Derek Mears and Tyler Mane. Maybe Henry Rollins could be the leader.

“Sixteen Candles”
Samantha – Felicia Day.
Grandma – Betty White. She’s already felt up Sandra Bullock in The Proposal, why not do it again for this movie? Can you honestly pick a funnier woman to be crazy grandmother?
The Geek – Chris Colfer. The great thing about Brat Pack movies is you cast one, and you basically have the casts for the others.
Jake Ryan – Liam Hemsworth
Long Duk Dong – Justin Chon. This kid was in the Twilight Saga, and while he is funny in it at times, he is not off the wall funny like this character. I say give him a chance to see how absurd he can be.

“Pretty in Pink”
Andie – Felicia Day
Ducky – Jonah Hill. Now, he is no John Cryer but can you picture a better actor to be stuck as the quintessential best friend that will not get the girl he wants? Also, I think hearing Jonah go off on the rich kids would be brilliant.
Iona – Drew Barrymore. I love Drew Barrymore and I am proud to say it. When I thought of this character I wanted to pick someone that would be able to play an edgy older sister/ mother role. Drew is it.
Steff – Jackson Rathbone. Yes, another Twilight actor. Did you know he is supposed to be playing infamous Death Metal performer and murderer Varg Vikernes in the movie “Lords of Chaos.” Some acting talent will be needed there I’m sure. Can he play a sleezeball? I think so.
Blane – Taylor Kitsch.
Jack, the father – Zack Galifiankis. I think he can make the hopeless mess of a father a little more hopeless and a lot more of a mess. Would make for some laughs.

These casting choices are far from complete, but they are the characters that were first in my mind. The other characters could be played by anyone else. Disappointed I didn’t put Michael Cera in there anywhere? Sorry. Do you have alternatives? Let me know. Oh, and Hollywood, if you see this I have tons of ideas for these remakes, ways to stay true to the original and re-envision it. Call me, and pay me lots of money!

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Last Quote - Bickford Scmeckler's Cool Ideas

Today's Quote - "No more yanky my wanky. Donger needs food."

Slash

If you know me then you know how huge of a Guns ‘N Roses fan I am. I’ve already talked about Chinese Democracy when it came out, and I love the album, but it makes me sad to think about what GnR could be today with all the band members together. Slash’s new album has the same pangs of sadness in it for me.
From the cover of the jacket, there is no doubting who’s CD it is. A skull wearing a tophat above a banner that says R nF’n R (Rock and Fucking Roll!) is what greets one when picking this album up. Not to mention Slash’s name in huge print above the skull.

I’ll be honest, I’m usually only a Slash fan when it comes to GnR (and the first Velvet Revolver album) but this album is a reminder to all of us just who Slash is and why he is one of the most kickass guitarists out there. It is almost enough to make me forget about Snake Pit.
When I saw this on the floor at Target I scoffed a little (Snake Pit coming to mind initially) but all of that stopped when I saw the list of singers: Kid Rock, Lemmy, Ozzy, Ian Astbury, Rocco Deluca, and Iggy Pop (to name a few). I decided that I would have to give it a listen and I was very surprised. It was pretty good. The musical style bridges a lot of gaps, and seeing as how Slash is mainly a hard rock guitar player, this was a welcome bit of diversity. Do not get me wrong, when you hear that guitar wail there is no doubt who is playing it, but the songs themselves tend to lend themselves to vocalists style. The best I can do in describing it (and I know some people will hate this comparison) is that is very much like Santana’s last couple of albums (with singers like Rob Thomas, Michelle Branch, Everlast).
After hearing this, and now taking another listen to Chinese Deomcracy I pray and beg to any who are listening that a GnR reunion happen in my lifetime. It is a bit far fetched to ask for a new studio album with the original members, but can you fathom how much ass that album would kick? Say what you want about Axl and even Slash but there is no doubting that when those two come together great things can happen. They are two larger than life personas (and they clash, as most egos will) but the shows they put on are phenomenal. Take a look at the music today. Gone are they great days of the Crue, Poison, and (yes, even them) Metallica. We are now in the days of radio-friendly watered down music. Record Labels are even dusting off music of bands that are no longer together or are dead (Nirvana) just to make some sales. That tells me that they are running short of talent in the present that they need to look to the past to find what people want to hear. So, in my humble opinion (ok, I’m never humble about anything) if GnR would put out a new album with the Appetite lineup it would give Rock the swift kick in the ass that it needs.



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Last Quote: Fast Time at Ridegmont High

Today’s Quote: “Nothing can ever be truly, fully understood. Not even the simplest thing. Not even this.”

School's Out

I mentioned this once before, but I’ll mention it again just to serve as a small disclaimer. I do not follow politics, nor do I follow the news. I find both to be overbearingly dreadful. As I stated, no one really trusts the government, so I just assume that whatever they are saying is a pack of lies. The news is so fraught with peril and chaos that I’d rather not watch it because it paints an unrealistic view of the world. I am not so naïve as to believe that the world is all puppies and rainbows. Far from it. I witness some real brilliance and Christian behavior working retail. Did my sarcasm come across on that last sentence? I know horrible things happen every day in every part of the world. Probably at a higher percentage rate than it should be. For every one atrocity that occurs, there are at least a handful of positive occurrences. In a single one-hour news program, the audience is bombarded by images of death, mayhem, war, violence, drugs, scandal, poisoned toys, defective cars, and pandemic scares. Amidst all of that they might squeeze in ten seconds (probably less) of a happy side. Usually called “The lighter side of the news” or some such BS. This generally features some animal doing something mildy cute. So, I have no use for the news or politics. Can you guess my thoughts on CNN, CSPAN, Fox News, and the like? Give me The Daily Show and Colbert Report any day.

That was a longer disclaimer than I planned. My rant has nothing to do the news we receive as much as it has to do with something I read about in the paper. The ONLY reason I read this little clipping was because my hometown was featured in the headline.
No, it was not a serial killer truck driver, or someone beating their kids with a hammer (not this time at least). My old high school just let go 27 people due to lack of state funding. Our Governor, in his wisdom (it seems the state of Illinois is going through a rough patch with Governors the past…what? century?) decided that the best place to make cuts to make up for a large deficit in funding was education. All politicians say how the schools are so important, but then when cuts need to me made, that’s where they occur. How about we cut politician salaries? Nope, can’t do that. Let’s just give the students a marginal education and send them out into the world where they might get stuck with a marginal career.

As a part of this slice and dice, all first year teachers were let go, as well as the principal. Pretty much any non-tenured faculty were let go. Stipends for extra-curricular (like sports) were eliminated. This means that anyone who coaches a sport will be doing it for free. Understandably, these coaches are mad and will probably refuse to coach. So, essentially, sports are gone. My problem with this is that the kids are being punished. I am NOT a sports fan. Ask anyone who went to school with me. I do know that some kids enjoy sports. Now, the biggest issue I have with this is that everyone is looking at the loss of money for coaching and not what would be best for the kids. Refusing to volunteer time so the kids can play some basketball sends the wrong message. That tells the kids that money is what is important, not you or what you enjoy. I always thought that extra-curriculars should be ran by teachers that enjoyed it (I know, sponsoring something is a requirement in most schools, so some teachers just pick something to get it over with.) Now that they are not getting paid to coach, it will be evident who did it for enjoyment, and who did it for the stipend. What I want to say to these tenured teachers who still have jobs, but lost their stipend is this: Be thankful you still have a job!! I bet any one of those first year or non-tenured teachers would gladly coach for free if it meant keeping their job. So, quit your bitching, be glad you are still gainfully employed, and do the right thing: let the kids have their sports and other extra-curricular activities. No doubt most of them are pissed and heart broken about losing some their favorite teachers and at the prospect of losing a past time they enjoy. The cuts will be hard on the schools, and on the administrators, and on the teachers, and the tax payers (this is where I come in) but it should not be hard on the students. They deserve to have the best education, and their experience during their formative years should be as fulfilling as possible. Are they going to but school dances next? What about lunch and breakfast? How much can be taken away before someone gets really mad?

To all of you students let me remind you that you have a Constitutional Right to the freedom of assembly. Don’t be afraid to let your voices be heard, just do so in a peaceful, non-vulgar way. Host a sit in or something. Be warned, you will get crap for it, and probably earn the ire of your teachers, but they need to know how you feel about all of this. How many of you went to the school board meeting? Did you say anything? Have you written to your senator, representative, or the Governor? Let me be clear – I am not saying to riot, or vandalize anything. I do not condone that. Find a peaceful, eloquent, calm way in which to express your opinion. The less it hurts anyone, the better.

I am not even living in this district, and I am upset by it based on principle. By all rights, I should be teaching at a high school but I am not (again, politics I have no use for). I guess it is a good thing that I haven’t landed a teaching job yet because I would now be unemployed. I am bothered by it because I know people who are affected by this more than I am. It is for them that I go on this tirade. That, and to vent and get it off my chest.

As usual, that’s just my opinion. I could be wrong.

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Last Quote: Trick ‘r Treat

Today’s Quote: “What are you people? On dope?”

Trick 'r Treat

It’s not often that I decide to review things on this blog. In an attempt to try and post something here on a regular basis, I’ve decided to review a movie, book, or cd from time to time.
I recently watched Trick ‘r Treat and I must say I was pleased with it. I remember when there were previews for this movie a few years ago, then it faded away and I never heard much about it until the DVD release. It sat on my netflix queue for a long time before I finally got around to it.
The concept is far from original, but I think that is part of its appeal. It reminds me of Creepshow, Tales from the Darkside, and Twilight Zone. The stories in this movie intersect and overlap. There are interesting twists to most of the stories, some a little predictable, others not so much. I don’t want to spoil it for anyone, so be warned.
Anna Paquin dressed as Little Red Riding Hood being attacked by a supposed vampire in the woods (ala the Big Bad Wolf). The identity of her attacker and the twist to this story (in my opinion) made the movie.
There were other great performances from the likes of Dylan Baker (Spiderman’s Dr. Connors) and Brian Cox ( X-Men 2, Bourne Identity). The two characters are neighbors and their stories happen at almost the same moment. Brian Cox was great as a bitter old man with a shotgun and a dark past.
What Halloween movie would be complete without a group of mean spirited kids? There is a town legend about a bus driver paid to drive the short bus into a rock quarry while all of the kids are chained inside. This story is told by one little bitch wearing an angel costume (funny? right?) in an attempt to scare another little girl they call “Rhonda the Retard (aren’t kids nice). They befriend her, and take her to the quarry to scare the crap out of her. They succeed, but it backfires horribly for them. I really couldn’t blame her for leaving them there to die.
It is an enjoyable film so long as you go into it expecting a typical Halloween flick. There are critics out there who hate anything that it not an art film, or has some major social commentary to make. They need to get over themselves. Movies are meant to entertain and allow us to escape our lives for a brief moment. Horror films are always great because our lives look so much better in comparison. So, if you are a film snob, take time to allow yourself some mindless fun. If you loved Creepshow, definitely give this one a try!


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Last Quote: Batman (1989)

Today's Quote: "Charlie Brown is an asshole!"

Trust

There has been a noticeable lack of blogs from me of late, mainly due to time constraints. As the walrus spake (no one outside of my hometown will get this, and even then, probably only a few will actually get this joke) “Time is my enemy, it steals my creativity.”

That is certainly true to a point, but the main reason I’ve relented on ranting is that I’ve had a major lack of subject matter. Nothing has really struck a chord with me to the point I felt that I needed to express my views. Obviously something has changed; otherwise I would not even bother putting energy into this.

What changed? A news article I read on Yahoo! News. I tried to find it so I could quote it exactly, but it was yesterday’s news and exact quotes were not important enough to me to dig around on the interweb to find them. Therefore, I will paraphrase where I see fit.

On to the issue: Trust.

I’m not talking about trusting one another (although one could make a point in favor of it, but fat lot of good that will do) I’m taking about trusting the one thing we are supposed to trust – our government.

Was there ever a time when the people of this country had blind faith in their leaders? Probably before the internet and free information 24/7. Even then, I think we’d have to go back to the first few days of this country’s existence to see that faith before it dissipated.

Every day we are told by our government officials to trust in them. It’s an easy enough request, after all they were voted in by the people, so one would think they would keep the people’s best interests at heart. Where did it all go wrong?

The news article I read was addressing the health care reform that has been the bane of our existence since the start of Obama’s first term. I’m not going to get into that issue. Too much ground to cover and I’ll admit that I do not know enough to present a coherent argument. What the news article did say was that Obama was asking the House and Senate to “trust him.”

Do they or will they? Not according to what the article said later. One Representative said that they would be willing to work with the Senate on this bill, but that they cannot trust the Senate to keep their end of the bargain.

So, we are expected to trust our government when our government doesn’t even trust itself. Anyone else see a problem with that?

If they want the trust of the people back they need to start doing good for the people, and cut out the bargaining, favors, earmarks, and all other back-scratching BS and do the job we elected them for.

On a related note: I feel that most of D.C. is out of touch with the real America. Most of them have been up there so long they’ve forgotten what real life is like. So I propose a new reality show that will last (in the very least) a full year. During that year, they will not have access to their bank accounts, money, or houses (or anything else that sets them apart from the majority of Americans) ALL of the politicians (House, Senate, Cabinet, etc…) will no longer be in office, and will be forced to go out and get a real minimum wage job with a shitty apartment where they will have to live paycheck to paycheck just to pay bills and live. This should give them a proper view of what Americans go through every day (especially in this economy). Once that year is up, they can return to Washington and do their damn job the way they are supposed to. To quote Dennis Miller: Of course, that just my opinion. I could be wrong.

Last quote: Batman: Mask of the Phantasm

Today’s quote: “ And now, folks, it's time for "Who do you trust!" Hubba, hubba, hubba! Money, money, money! Who do you trust? Me? I'm giving away free money.”